Time, tattoos and teachings

The little moments of time.  My Teacher has spoken those words often- be present, in the moment, be in love in the little moments of time... even in between those little moments.  That's not a direct quote- just remembrances of smatherings of what I think I've heard her say.  Very subjective on my part- hopefully somewhat accurate, otherwise I've been focusing on obtaining something that was never in a teaching to begin with.

I spent the latter part of this morning and the beginnings of this afternoon with a man that I met online a few years back, who I've struck up a friendship with.  We pretend to be superheroes.  He delights my heart, and he's a tattoo artist extraordinaire- so inking was also involved in betwixt sharing about our lives and all that's transpired since last our paths crossed, three years ago.  We spoke much of how well we know "the character the other plays on tv" (as he so aptly put it) yet so little of one another in person, and I was struck with how magical that made our relationship.  It is, truly, based on nothing besides our deep-seated attraction to the other's silliness, imagination and a Superfold Adytum that exists in cyberspace where mass amounts of purple sugar are consumed.  Regardless, and for that very reason, he delights my heart.  What I love the most is that when we are knee to knee on a sofa, it's as though we've known each other for lifetimes and it is the most natural, open, warm feeling that envelopes us.  

Mid-afternoon was spent walking up and down various streets searching for an open restaurant to share a meal with another delightful being that I hadn't connected with in quite some time.  Due to letting life side-track me.  We ate enchiladas and shared our stories of love and life and our versions of reality, and we smiled quite a bit.  We also bought flowers and wine together for our Teacher's birthday celebration I was to drive us to.

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I just returned from the "cocktail hour" of a birthday celebration for my Teacher.  It's difficult to vocalize how deeply I love this woman- the less I try to encapsulate or define my relationship with her the more it blossoms and authenticates itself.  It warmed my heart to offer her flowers and hug her and re-connect.  I am so grateful for a sangha that opens its arms to my meandering, wandering nature whenever I blow through... which is exactly what I did, as a throbbing headache had begun to set in, along with a dizzying nausea that I am thinking may be due to the emotionally cathartic tattoo I received earlier today. I only stayed briefly, but was able to spend time with people who have greatly influenced my life; who have shaped the very character of my being.  And no, I don't miss seeing them every day- I am happy with this will o'the wisp relationship... a gentle gleaning of mercurial moments.  Break-your-heart-open moments to experience Love in, all day long.  It feels good to be home.