Shenanigans

New Year's Eve is always an anomaly.  I always find myself with people I'd never expect to be with in what appears to be some altered form of reality.  Hailing 2010 was no different.  Husby's Bestest arrived around 8 to be my date for the night, as Husby had to not only work, but close for the night.  Last one out.  Who knows when.  And I must say- I'd love to have a talk with this "Who".

Dinner was the plan, but after driving from one closed restaurant to the next packed one, Bestest and I quickly realized that was no longer in the plan and headed towards Husby.  Parking was surprisingly misleadingly easy and the wait for the cable car was surprisingly expectedly long.  The place was packed by 8:30 and no seats were to be had... I flexed what little power I had, and quite feebly at that, with "I'm Husby's wife- could you page him please?"  He arrived at the hostess' podium promptly to laugh at me.  Rude.  And called for.  Once he was finished laughing, he said he'd be right back- to see what he could do.    "Okay, one of our receptionists is with a friend, and she said you two could sit with them.  They've been here a while- can't imagine they'll be staying much longer.  She's wearing a white hat."  My retort was not a polite "thanks" but instead: "What was she supposed to say? No, boss, I don't want to sit with nor spend New Year's with your kooky wife?"  He laughed and walked away.  So we walked to White Hat, who will be from this point referred to as "Detroit" and introduced ourselves.  Detroit and her friend, who had just moved that day from Michigan, will be "Midwest".    Detroit and Midwest were just polishing off what Bestest and I thought was their first bottle of wine.  What's that saying about assumptions?  Hmm.

Detroit was energetic, extroverted and inebriated.  Midwest was not.  Okay, she was drunk too- but a quiet, shy drunk.  Midwest spent most of the night quietly whispering to me that Detroit really was a very great gal.  Detroit spent most of the evening putting her foot in her mouth in an effort to disprove Midwest:

You look really great for a 31 year old! (Thanks?  I hope the same can be said when I actually turn 31.)

Oh- you must be pregnant.  You have that look.  (What look?  Pleasantly plump? On top of old? Really? Is shiny being mistaken for glowing?  Do I need to powder my nose?)


All in the first 22 minutes of sitting down, which translates to: not even 9pm yet.  When is midnight again?  Can someone move the clocks forward?  Please?  Seriously.  Please?


You and Husby are total stony-pot-smokers, huh?  (This was prompted because I knew the words to "Puff the Magic Dragon" which was being sung by the live musician on stage.)  That's so cute! Don't worry- I won't tell any of the other employees, Husby is so great to work for!  Really nice.  He lets me go to the bathroom and watches the phones for me.  None of the other managers do that.  (Why?  Why?  Why?)  Cuz ya know- you and I, we could always, you know, when I'm not working and stuff.  It'd be fun!  (Do what?  Why? Why?  Why?)

So, does Husby do coke?  Cuz someone asked me that the other day, and I said "oh no.  He's just an energetic sort.  Like me.  I'm energetic naturally, ya know."  I mean could you imagine me on coke?  I'd be CAH-razy!  I don't think he believed me though.  But I thought I'd ask anyways, cuz you never know.  (Wait.  Excuse me.  Did you just ask me if MY husband, your boss is a coke-head?  NO.  No he is NOT a coke head and we do not smoke pot.  Sheesh.  How did this conversation start?  That's it.  No more song lyrics for me.  I am never going to Michigan.)

So, Bestest.  Let's play a game.  Lets have ALL the 25-34 year olds, the single ones, here.  But no bums or creepers.  (Even this warranted a "huh?" from Midwest, which was somehow comforting.)  You're single, right, Bestest?  (This was a veiled attempt at finding out if Detroit had any chance under the Big Ball Drop to "hook up" with Bestest.  Which, she didn't have, but it was kinda cute to watch.)

*****                                                                                                                  

I just realized I could go on and on and on and....  so I will stop.  Needless to say, the questions became more inappropriate, more ludicrous, more hilarious, and in regards to Bestest, more desperate; as the empty bottles crowded our small four-top.

Bestest was throwing back his Captain n' diets with ease and I was throwing back my water: ice, stirred, also with great ease.  Husby would occasionally whoosh by with a kiss for the top of my head.  And the clock was finally beginning to creep towards midnight.  We were (the entire bar) laughing, singing, drinking and many were dancing.  I was not.  I prefer to sing loudly and off key.  Bestest was not, he preferred to watch Detroit scowl at him as she danced with other men.  Midwest was not, she preferred to try to sleep on the cocktail table.  And Husby was very, very busy.

11:48pm.  Everyone was in plastic top hats or tiaras, noise-makers in one hand, champagne in the other.  Bestest was texting Husby with profanities for not being by my side... just as Husby pushed his way through the crowd and wrapped his arms around me.

Midnight.

Everything was worth it.  All the shenanigans.

Bestest and I stayed past all the other celebrants- to sit for a moment with Husby in his empty bar.  With payroll and closing paperwork to contend with, we headed home and promised to wait for Husby to come home.  ETA: 2:30am.  I put on jammies and snuggled with a sleepy pupalupagus.  Bestest switched to beer.  2:30 flew by.  As did 3:30.  Just shy of 4am Husby came home, to an exhausted, but still awake wife and Bestest.  We yawned.  He poured drinks.  I silently shook my head and crawled into bed with a staggering pup.  I do not know what they did.  Though this morning there were empty glasses on the table.  I do know I drifted in and out of sleep with Husby's arms around me, and the promise of a New Year was granted  As was a sleep-in.